Sunday, 7 April 2013

When I Feel Low

I had recently posted that Jackie (The Princess Dog), Darcy (The Dapper Dog) and myself were going on holidays.  Well the holiday didn't turn out as good as I had hoped and I returned home after 9 days instead of the expected 4 weeks away.  Since my return I have tried so hard to keep myself on the up and up but I find I am steadily getting lower and lower.

I did attempt to buck up and made a cute little Doggy Quilt for Darcy but that seems to be the limit of my achievements since the Thursday before Easter.  

My younger son and his wife went away for Easter and that was one of the reason I had decided I would go away at the same time.  I really didn't look forward to spending Easter alone as here in Australia Easter is not just a Holy Feast, it is also one of the last good breaks we get prior to the Winter months.  Good Friday is a Public Holiday as is Easter Monday, and most businesses shut for that period.  But I survived Easter by heading out on the Saturday and buying some fabric (for Darcy's quilt) and getting stuck into preparing some photo albums online for my Daughter in Law, Aida.  I had popped up to their house on Good Friday to collect hundreds and hundreds of photos onto my external HD and noticed a large basket of laundry.  Now my little Aida works so very hard and I know Matthew wanted to get away on the Thursday evening so of course she wouldn't have had time to do any washing prior.  So I took the laundry home and did it on the Friday as it was such super weather and no problem getting the washing dry.   Just as well I did as the rest of the weekend was very overcast and light rain on each of the days.

I treated myself to going to the Cinema on the Saturday evening and saw Hyde Park on Hudson which left me feeling confused, to say the least.  I did enjoy Bill Murray's performance as FDR as he seemed to be enjoying his role so much.  However the role of "Daisy" Suckley left me wondering what the hell FDR saw in her to have an affair.  Talk about limpid!!! 

I attended Mass on the Sunday morning and it was lovely to witness 2 little baby girls being Baptized during Mass.  So much hope and expectation from the new parents.  So much happiness.  And it really was good to be part of that happiness, even though as an onlooker and member of the congregation.  And it was delightful after Mass when Father Peter asked one of the altar servers to fetch a basket and he then announced the Easter Bunny had visited and for all the children to come up to get a handful of chocolate Easter eggs.  Kids always make me smile and when it is a holiday like Easter and Christmas they certainly do know how to have a good time.  I then did a bit of work outside the house and mowed my back lawns.

Matt and Aida returned on Monday afternoon from their Easter break and called in to say hello as we hadn't spent anytime together since my return early Thursday morning.  They didn't stop as Matt was tired as apparently the traffic was horrendous coming back from the Peninsula and I was just so thankful to see them as that road is notorious as a killer road over a holiday period.

So here we are now the Sunday after Easter and my house is looking very much like a bomb has hit it.  Other than doing dishes and making the bed, nothing else seems to be getting done.  I did vacuum the carpet and the family room and washed the floor tiles there and the vacuum cleaner still sits in my kitchen/eating area along with the mop and the bucket of cleaning water.  

I did a google to try to find some "funny" quotes on depression but they don't tend to have funny quotes on depression.  But gosh, some of the other quotes sure hit the nail on the head for me.

But I know why I am feeling this way.  I know just what has triggered my feeling of hopelessness and loss.  I know and yet I permit this bloody feeling to overtake me??  Grow up, and put ya big girl panties on and take control of your life again.  



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